Turkey Day Musings

(All: Rick sent this on the 28th - My Internet was down for a week. Sorry. C-) )
Doesn't turkey contain tryptophan? I think that is the reason you feel sleepy after eating it, though I am curious why any animal (maybe quite a few do?) would have evolved to produce a chemical like that in its muscle tissue (why doesn't it make the turkey sleepy?). I supposed if you apply a predator-prey survival hypothesis to the problem, it would tend to make predators go to sleep after eating a turkey, thus helping the rest of the flock to survive. It would just suck to be that particular turkey, though. It also raises a Darwinian issue of hereditary evolution, because the turkeys that have developed that adaptation have to die in order to utilize it, thus eliminating them from the gene-pool. The long-term effect of this, according to Darwin anyway, would be that fewer and fewer turkeys would have this chemical trait to pass on to their progeny, and eventually, that trait would disappear entirely. So, if you apply this twisted logic to the issue, turkeys are evolutionarily adapted to sacrifice themselves to insure the survival of the species, and in some way, I am just doing my part by eating them.

Speaking of eating, we got a turkey leg for lunch that looked like it came from a pterodactyl (hey, I spelled it right!). It was about 10 inches long, and the leg bone was as thick as my thumb. I think it may have actually been an emu leg. It was over-cooked, and it looked like the poor bastard had been hit by a bus. The leg bone was shattered, and the bone was sticking out of the meat in about four different directions. But we had a piece of turkey-ham, so I just made a sandwich instead. We also had chocolate ice cream(!) and a very small sliver of pumpkin pie. For some silly reason, when I got just a little chocolate ice cream on my pumpkin pie, it made it taste a lot like peanut butter. Very strange. I am sure I discovered a hitherto unknown chemical process.

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED LIVING IN OKLAHOMA:

1. Possums ("opossums" to the rest of the world) sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

2. There are over 5,000 types of snakes in the world, and 4,998 live in Oklahoma.

3. There are more than 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Oklahoma, plus a couple no one's ever seen before.

4. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

5. Onced and twiced are words.

6. It is not a shopping cart; its a buggy.

7. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.

8. People actually grow and eat okra.

9. "Fixinta" is one word. Example: "I'm fixinta stomp me a mudhole in yore ass."

10. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only breakfast, dinner, and supper.

11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!

12. "Back'ards and for'ards" means "I know everything there is to know about you."

13. "Jeet?" is actually a complete sentence all by itself. It means, "Have you already eaten?"

14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

YOU KNOW YOUR FROM OKLAHOMA IF:

1. You measure distance in hours and minutes of travel time.

2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

3. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: "I'm fixing to go to the store "

4. You know how to properly sharpen a chainsaw.

5. You install security lights on your house and garage, then leave both unlocked.

6. You know the difference between a tractor, thresher, sprigger, and combine.

7. You carry jumper cables in your pickup truck... to jump-start your OWN pick-up.

8. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.

9. The local papers cover national and international news on a single page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

10. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

11. You describe 100 degrees Fahrenheit as "a little warm".

12. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Indian Summer and Christmas.

13. You know whether another Okie is from northern or southern Oklahoma as soon as they open their mouth.

14. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite pastime known as goin' Wal-martin, or off to Wally-World.

15. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as "good pinto-bean weather".

16. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop..it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?"

17. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

18. We don't need no stinking driver's ed....if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.

19. You understand these jokes.