There was an old, feeble, blind man who had a trained mouse, and the mouse could talk. Because the mouse was a mouse, he couldn't talk very well, but the mouse was quick and agile, and the man loved the little mouse. Because the mouse was a special mouse, the man kept him in his shirt-pocket, and when the mouse was in his shirt-pocket, the man could talk to him without other people overhearing what they said to each other. The man talked to the mouse every day.
The man had a hobby. He like to stand on a busy street corner, and smell the perfume of the young ladies that walked by. One day, he told the mouse that he believed that he could predict the color of a woman's panties by the perfume she was wearing. To verify his predictions, he decided he could send the trained, talking mouse to check the color of the woman's panties.
When a woman walked by, the man told the mouse, "She smells like lavender. I think her panties are white. Go run under her dress, and see what color her panties are." The mouse was uniquely suited to this task, and when the mouse got near the woman, she screamed and hiked her skirt sufficiently for the mouse to catch a glimpse of the color of her panties. When he saw her panties, the mouse ran back to the old man, climbed up his trouser leg and jacket sleeve, and jumped into the open shirt pocket.
He told the man, "Yeth, her panty ith wite." The old man gave the mouse a peanut as his reward. The mouse liked peanuts, and soon this became a very entertaining game for the old, blind man and the trained, talking mouse. The old man showed an uncanny ability to predict the color of women's panties, and the mouse stayed very busy. For some reason, whenever a woman wore floral scents, her panties were always either white, blue, or yellow. When the old man smelled musk-based perfume, the woman's panties were always red or black.
Late that day, another woman walked by, and the old man was stumped by the unusual scent. He could not identify the type of perfume, and he scratched his head in confusion. Finally he said, "I really don't know, but I will have to say she is wearing green panties, because that is the only color so far that we have not found, and this is a different smell, so we will go with a different color." Then he sent the mouse to check.
A few seconds passed as the mouse ran towards the woman, and the blind man heard the predictable scream as the mouse ran under the woman's dress. A second later, there was a mouse-sized squeak. Then the man heard the sound of scurrying little feet, followed by the tug of little claws on his trouser leg, then the sudden, familiar weight in his pocket. But the mouse didn't say anything, and when the man spoke to the mouse, he got no response.
The man reached into his shirt pocket, and drew out the mouse. He could feel the mouse trembling in his hand, and he could feel the mouse's heart beating very fast. He talked soothingly to the little mouse and stroked his fur until the mouse had calmed down, and his breathing and heart-rate had returned to normal. Finally he asked what color the woman's panties were, and the mouse again began to tremble. Then he asked the mouse what he had seen when he looked up the woman's skirt, and the mouse replied, "I tawt I taw a putty tat!"
