A Joke from The Elder...
Bank Drive Through Instructions
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A sign in the local Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Roll down car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash withdrawal.
5. Retrieve card, cash, and receipt.
6. Roll window up.
7. Drive away.
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FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Shift into reverse, and back up the required distance to align car window with machine.
3. Set parking brake, then roll window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel, then re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup, then shift into drive.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Shift into reverse, then back up to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine, then drive away.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release parking brake.
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A sign in the local Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Roll down car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash withdrawal.
5. Retrieve card, cash, and receipt.
6. Roll window up.
7. Drive away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Shift into reverse, and back up the required distance to align car window with machine.
3. Set parking brake, then roll window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel, then re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup, then shift into drive.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Shift into reverse, then back up to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine, then drive away.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release parking brake.
posted by Christopher Willis at 6:08 PM
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